Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
