I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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