Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
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I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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