you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My bed smells like the plague
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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