after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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