he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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