all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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