It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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