I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
