everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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