She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
