all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love you.
Bad choice
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