Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
