I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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