i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
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i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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