We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
