I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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