and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
