She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
