You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just fell off a train. Bad.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
