careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
