No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
