I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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