Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
