3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
