so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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