VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
