proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize