Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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