All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
