best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
