he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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