He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
