forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
