I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
North Korea, Best Korea!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
