Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize