Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
