maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
