College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize