I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
