nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need to align my fucking chakras
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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