I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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