True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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