I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
