Apparently you make a good broom.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize