Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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