we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Barsexuality is the new black.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
