Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
