In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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