I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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