I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
