I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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