i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
