i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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