my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize