I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he thought i was a dude.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
