i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think your dad took our porno
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
