hotel room ftw
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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