I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Your mouth is God's brothel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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